Could this be the new ULTIMATE Country song?

[ronbo11]

Used to be "You Never Even Call Me By My Name" sung by David Allan Coe, but I'm thinkng this might give it a run for the $$$:

"It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long" (The Notorious Cherry Bombs)

She used to call me baby... I thought she was such a lady
But my how things have changed since times moved on
I gave her my last dollar... And now all she'll do is holler
Oh my life has become a country song
I've learned she can resist me by the way she always disses me
And comes to bed at night, with that cold cream on
Sometimes I might feel frisky but these days it's just too risky

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long
All day Long
It goes all day long

If a tree fell in the forest, She didn't hear it, would I still be wrong
I guess I should admit it
She ain't never gonna quit it

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long

Spoken Voice:

Man I remember when her eyes used to be so blue and shiny
God you oughtta see what's happened to her hiney
(Her what?) her hiney
Man that thing is big enough to land a small plane on.
(Small plane?) I'm tellin' ya
I used to roll her in the the clover, (mmm hmm) but my god those days are over
(Hallelulia!)

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long
All day Long
She goes all day long

If some day they drop the big one,
I'd say sweet Jesus, She's gonna finally leave me alone
It's alright if we say it
'cause the radio won't play it.

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long
It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long

[ronbo11]

I Gave Her a Ring
(Steven Fromolz)

A chip of a diamond in ten-carat gold,
I hocked all my dreams. All my secrets I sold.
I brought all the love this poor boy could bring her.
I GAVE HER A RING.
She gave me "the finger".

We had talked to the preacher and to her mom and dad.
We talked of the future; Oh, the plans that we had.
I sang all the love songs this poor boy could sing.
Must not of liked what she heard 'cause she gave me "the bird"
When I gave her my ring.


I GAVE HER A RING.
She gave me "the finger".
I said, "Babe, that's the wrong one,"
When she showed me the long one.
The look in her eyes said I need not linger.
I heard the fat lady sing when I gave her my ring
And she gave me "the finger".

She flipped off our love.
There ain't nothin' crueler.
So I carried that ring
On back to the jeweler.
He said, "This ring is like love, son. There's no guarantee.
Like when you gave it to her, I'm gonna give it to you
When you give it to me."

I heard the fat lady sing when I gave her my ring
And she gave me "the finger".

[ronbo11]

[QUOTE=ronbo11]I Gave Her a Ring
(Steven Fromolz)

Crap - thats FROMHOLZ not FROMOLZ!

[love2sing]

These are hysterical! I love stuff like this!