Funny quotes

[Delirious Nomad]

Lita Ford in an interview:

Had Joan Jett put the moves on you?
No. She knows I'm not carpet muncher.

:p

[zebrachikodoom]

ROCK N ROLL

quoted from johnny race

[tome811]

Dang!

Rob Meier

[macca]

There is NOOOOO way you could come from my loins! When I get home, I'm gonna punch your mamma in the mouth - Jackie Gleason in Smokey and the Bandit.

[Delirious Nomad]

They were still booing HIM when WE went on stage!!!!
- David St. Hubbins of Spinal Tap:p

[tome811]

"Hold it! Hold It! Stop the music!"

"Mother F'er! If you EVER throw anything at me again, I'm gonna come down there and kick your ass"!

David Lee Roth at the LSU Assembly Center Baton Rouge, LA 1984 tour

(Tim's got the pics!)

[macca]

If You Don't Speak English....get the "F" out of the country - Nugent on the 2000-01 Kiss Tour
(which got him banned in some South Texas city)

[pale rider]

" An armed society is a polite society" - Ted Nugent on CNN talkshow in 2002

[NY DREAMER]

[referring to Saddam's capture]
It was like Ground Hog Day. He popped out of a hole, and we got four more years of Bush.
-- Bill Maher

[macca]

Picky Eater - Euphomism for F'N pain in the ass! - George Carlin

[jennbo]

a 'Freudian slip' is when you say one thing, but mean your mother.

:D

[macca]

Esther.....your face is so ugly, I could put your face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies - Fred Sanford to Aunt Esther(Redd Foxx and LaWanda Page)

[JJD]

Most of the dialogue from Monty Python and the Holy Grail..Pick a scene.

[Delirious Nomad]

I fart in your general direction!

[Chara]

--Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs--

[macca]

There are two kinds of coaches - those who are fired, and those who are about to be fired - Bum Phillips

[tome811]

"This job would be great if it weren't for the F'ing customers"!- Randall, the video clerk in "Clerks".

[macca]

Just heard this one again this afternoon:

Fred is talking to Lamont about his day on the city council....Fred mentions an "ugly" problem......

Fred: She's an ugly woman.....ugly woman.....U G L Y woman!

Lamont: Pop, how ugly is she?

Fred: Son, she's so ugly......if Moses would have seen her, he would have parted her face too.......:)

[EVHFV]

My two favorites from Sanford and Son are:

1. You nutty, Grady. I oughtta call you "Nutty Grady".

2. (after opening the door an shutting it back in Esther's face)

Lamont: Who was at the door, Pop?

Fred: Nobody, but somebody left their gorilla at the door.

[macca]

Strange......the way he really died was his most famous bit(faking the heart attack).