meow....

[jennbo]

turn your speakers up. ;)

MEOW (http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/chowmein.html)

[Carmellalala]

that ain't right:(

[earl]

That's mean ,but funny!

[jennbo]

awww i don't want to offend anyone!!!!

hey, i had chinese food for lunch today so.....

:rolleyes: :D

[Delirious Nomad]

That's a classic!!!!

It's so funny 'cause it's so true....:p

AHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[Eddie S]

I LOVE THAT SIAMESE, I mean CHINESE

[macca]

Now its cat? Guess they ran out of dog.........

[sarcastic1]

That was great !!! I needed a good laugh. Thanks

[swan]

Too funny! :p

[RandyJ4ever]

How bizzare! lol :D

[Doorman]

AHhhhhhh "JEWISH SOUL FOOD" !!!
Did ya know pork ain't kosher....unless it's in Chinese food!? :confused: :rolleyes:
Randy LOVES General's Chicken and sweet and sour pork!

[jennbo]

ok....
try this one......

:p

OINK (http://www.hallmark.com/hmk/Website/Shopping/Greetings/nfg1986_detail.jsp?BV_SessionID=@@@@1228071489.106 0824949@@@@&BV_EngineID=dadcicjiifeibedcfchcgg.0&fromPage=/Website/Shopping/sh_eg_home.jsp&sku=nfg1986&oid=-102130&desc=E-Cards&first=1&price=&text=Make+the+little+pig+say...&pname=Make+The+Pig+Talk+(Interactive)&cname=Just+for+Fun&page=1)

[Delirious Nomad]

I couldn't access that one.:(

[jennbo]

that site is down at the moment. :(

[Chara]

I thin its very funny!! :)

[jennbo]

the pig thing ain't workin' :mad:

meow! :D

[jennbo]

liquid man (http://www.electronicorphanage.com/neen/demo/clinger.swf)

:D

[Delirious Nomad]

that is cool:cool:

[jennbo]

got this from a friend today via email.....and yes, i thought it was pretty funny! ;)


We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are 'OUR' rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
-----------------------------------
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to thin! k of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do som! ething or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking - unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, sports, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

[macca]

That gets a BIG 2 thumbs up!!

[Delirious Nomad]

Originally posted by jennbo
got this from a friend today via email.....and yes, i thought it was pretty funny!


We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are 'OUR' rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
-----------------------------------
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


Put the toilet seat back up.....or trust my aim.:D

[ziggy]

About the one that says "learn to work to the toilet seat" -

The ladies need the seat DOWN for all of their bathroom functions.
The men need the seat DOWN for some and UP for some functions
correct?

I say to the men, leave the seat down all the time; because, statistically speaking, DOWN is were the seat is needed MOST!

(in my humble opinion)

[Delirious Nomad]

Technically we do not "need" the seat "up" at all. We only lift it as a courtesy for the ladies.

Of course, the burden is ALWAYS on us to do it.

I think I'll take Zig's advice and leave it down ALL THE TIME.
Again, lift it, or trust my aim.....:p

(I would put many more smiley faces in here to emphasize my intended light-heartedness....but, alas, it is no longer allowed)
(frowny face)

[jennbo]

Originally posted by ziggy
About the one that says "learn to work to the toilet seat" -

The ladies need the seat DOWN for all of their bathroom functions.


LOL! not 'all'! :D

but hey doesn't it **** to drop your mascara in the toilet? ACK!

hey david, you can pee in the sink! *insert evil smiley here*
LOL!!!!

[Delirious Nomad]

Done that before.......:eek:
...at many-a-concert in my younger days.

[jennbo]

WHAT is our world coming to?

check this out....

boy in the box? (http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/Southwest/09/10/stowaway.flight.ap/index.html)

:p

[Wakddood]

I'm the man in the box, buried in my
shit, won't you come and save me.:o

[jennbo]

some of these are funny......


Rules For Living
1. Never give yourself a haircut.

2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't
move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use
the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital
relationship "I apologize" and "You are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's
easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

6. The best advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go!
You might meet somebody!"

7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her--believe
them.

8. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, 'Will this matter
one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?

9. Never pass up an opportunity to use the restroom (Bathroom
or Toilet)

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another
chance!

11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable
because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that
the other person was right about you.

12. Work is good, but it's not that important.

13. And finally... Be really nice to your friends and family.
You never know when you are going to need them to empty your
bedpan. Age sneaks up on you rather quickly! THAT IS FACT, NOT
FICTION!

[jennbo]

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends", I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...

_______________________

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world"

The woman says, "I'll miss you."

_______________________

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
_______________________

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight!? She said - That's a
good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and
fart.
_______________________

He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror
______________________

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor
_______________________

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and
said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant
each of them a very special wish. The wife wished for a trip around the
world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise
tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger.......
Whoosh....immediately he turned ninety!
__________________

A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the
cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business
Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on
the back of the milk carton.

[jennbo]

Subject: The Kitty


You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one...

A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.

They don't want the cat shut in the house because "she" always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.

The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty.She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon."He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away.

"Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cabdriver hit a parked car